Background
I have had mental issues my whole life but I did not want to face up to this, due to being in denial and stigma. In the 10 years leading up to my diagnosis with bipolar disorder I worked for a big recruitment agency in a national director role, which was pretty stressful and long hours.
At the time I loved it but looking back I didn’t realise I was either manic or depressed. It went on for years and years and there is only so much your body can cope with. It wasn’t an environment where I could admit I was struggling so I ignored all the signs. This led to a catastrophic breakdown and I was admitted to Luton hospital. Once I had my diagnosis it was like everything suddenly made sense.
My employers were not very supportive and made me feel uncomfortable. They just wanted me to sort myself out and get back to work. I continued to work for them in a less senior role but was in and out of hospital for a couple of years. Eventually they stopped paying me sick leave when I was admitted again. I struggled to pay my rent and some months I struggled to eat.
They eventually offered me redundancy, it wasn’t much but it allowed me to take a bit of time off work and get myself stable.
What happened next?
I thought I'd never be well enough to work again or if I did work, I'd be in job with no prospects. And you know because I'm labelled now - I've got a mental illness!
I didn’t really know much about mental illness when I was first diagnosed so I learned how to get well and stay well. I then started to think about going back to work and a complete career change – and I thought about working in mental health.
I started by doing some volunteering with a music therapy organisation who had helped me when I was an inpatient. I volunteering with their groups in the community, helped run the sessions and this massively helped my confidence. Then I was introduced to ELFTs People Participation team.
I started doing interview panels and helping to deliver training and be involved in projects and stuff. I remember I couldn't believe it thinking … what's the catch? You know, I can't believe this is real. Somebody actually respects me. Even I've got this illness and they still want to know.
I started doing small bits as I was still quite poorly but it was a great environment to work in as I was able to be open about my illness. Hiding it is stressful and can make you more ill. Even though this was a very different role, I could draw on my experience from working in recruitment.
How has volunteering and starting work helped you?
I felt like for the first time in my life that my bipolar didn't have to mean the end for me. I felt that my life was just pretty much going to be rubbish forever. You know, since my diagnosis. But I just started to realise that that doesn't necessarily have to be the case.
It's really helped me to thrive - you know - I not only survived but thrived. I loved it and after a couple of years, I was ready to go back to work. I worked with Individual Placement Support (IPS) in Beds and Luton who were brilliant. They looked at my skillset and how I could transfer my skills into a mental health job.
I started working at MIND where I could combine skills from my previous career with my lived experience, and my confidence grew. I then applied for a job in people participation at ELFT and became the lead for Central Bedfordshire. I have since applied for and become Head of People Participation at ELFT.
How did you prepare for the interviews?
I looked at the job description and the person specification and tried to figure out what they might ask me. Depending on what’s on the job description, I prepared examples of how my skills were transferable to meet that.
What has helped you to remain employed?
The support from my psychiatrist has been amazing throughout. I’ve sometimes over the last few years felt well enough to be discharged but when I’ve been applying for new roles, she has not wanted to discharge me as a new job is a big life change. She was right not to discharge me as I needed that support.
How do you feel in your job now?
Yes there is a bit of pressure, stress and responsibility but I absolutely love my job. I am capable of doing it. Helping and supporting people and improving services with people with lived experience. I work in an environment where everyone knows I have a mental illness, understands and is supportive and I don’t think I’d be able to be as well as I am if I worked in a different kind of environment.
What tips would you give people in a similar situation that we're looking to think about employment or going into employment?
Well, to talk to their people participation lead definitely about what it is that they'd like to get into and if they don't know, that we can actually support them to go into employment. We've got an employment advisor.
If you’re not successful on your first application or your first interview, don’t give up. If you don’t get a job, it doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough - it just means there was someone who was a bit better or was more appropriate for the role. I have a few people that work for me now who we have interviewed a few times. Going to interviews makes the panel members aware of you and they will remember you if an appropriate role comes up in the future.