Throughout my Nursing career I have worked in various clinical and leadership roles caring for patients who may be facing the end of their life, supporting their families carers and loved ones as well as their clinical team.
I have witnessed how and where discussions have taken place when a person is deteriorating and they are facing the end of their life. This is an emotional and often distressing time for the dying person and loved ones but it can often be a challenging and emotional time for the clinical team concerned.
I believe it is every person's right to be empowered to make decisions throughout their life and the end of their life is no exception; where possible the timing of conversation is important so that the person has the physical and mental capacity to say what they may want to achieve in their remaining life. We are all unique with life experiences including achievements but also loss and relationships which can influence what we may want to achieve and prioritise.
Professionally I believe we should give people in our care the opportunity to state their preferences for how and where they wish to be cared for. This can be challenging but we don't need to do this alone. Some of the best conversations I have witnessed have resulted from supportive team work and ensuring I seek advice when on occasions I have found the conversations upsetting or challenging.
My personal experience of conversations about anticipating the end of life were with my Father. He started discussions when he was diagnosed with a chronic lung condition and in relatively good health - which on reflection was much less distressing than when he was dying from cancer. I was grateful and relieved by those earlier conversations.
The theme for Dying Matters Awareness Week is having conversations about the end of life and being open and honest in the language we use.
Find out more here
There are a number of organisations that can provide help at these difficult times:
- What to do when someone dies (Government website step-by-step advice)
- Marie Curie
- NHS Confidential Bereavement Support (operated by Hospice UK). Call 0300 303 4434
- Sudden
- Samaritans Call 116 123 free
- Good Grief Trust
- Cruse
- At a Loss