As we start Carers Week I am reflecting on my own experiences, both professional and personal. As the Director of Social Work in ELFT, a mental health social worker for the last 25 years and an AMHP (Approved Mental Health Professional) for 20 years, I have always worked closely with friends and family members supporting their loved ones with their mental health needs, sometimes long term and sometimes in crisis. Seeing and understanding the impact of their caring responsibilities, and intervening to ensure the care being received was appropriate and that the carer was also supported in their own right has always been a key part of my practice.
When my mother developed dementia therefore and my family and I became her ‘Carers,’ I was able to add personal experience to my professional one. Experiencing the frustration of not being able to get through the front door of services and being bounced between the CMHT and social care in an area where the services were no longer integrated.
Taking my mum to her memory clinic appointments (held bizarrely) at an inpatient unit, Holding her hand, promising that I wouldn’t leave her there as she cried at the thought that she was being abandoned, whilst she told the consultant that I was her school friend Mary - having long forgotten that I was her daughter. My mum died in 2020 during lockdown and after so long as her main carer, my Dad also lost the supportive network and groups he had been using for some years, the resulting isolation very difficult to come to terms with.
Like many people who acquire a caring role, I could write a book of my experiences, often frustrating, some funny, some touching. Even the term ‘Carer’ that we use as professionals, in policies and leaflets is not unproblematic. I was first and foremost a daughter, my Dad her husband. We did not choose to become ‘carers’, but we did so out of love.
Having the lead for how we as a trust support carers through our Carers Strategy is therefore very personal for me, as I know it is for many of our colleagues who are also balancing both the personal and professional.
In Carers week I would like to pay tribute to all carers, and hope that the events and information available across services throughout the week is helpful to carers and colleagues working with them.