It's that time of year. The exams have finished and young people have been relaxing and chilling. But at the back of their minds (and the minds of their parents/guardians) is the August date(s) when the results of their endeavors will be revealed. This cohort of young people are still feeling the effects of the pandemic and the interuption of their education. So there can be a lot of uncertainty.
If the results are as expected or even better, this uncertainty will soon be forgotten as the young person takes the next step on their education or career journey.
But for those who do not get the results they anticipated, this can be a major blow and they, and the adults in their lives, may not feel equipped to handle it. So below are some useful steps to support the young person, keep things in perspective and navigate through the next few weeks:
- Talk to the University. Sometimes the grade average is lower nationally, so speak to the college or university you were planning to attend. They may still accept you with the grades you got.
- Speak to your school about your options. They may be able to mediate or help you to consider alternatives
- It may feel like the end of the world but it isn't. It is a setback and you have every right to feel sad, upset, cry and feel angry - for a little while.
- Accept that the difficult thing has happened - and try and move on. How you adjust and respond to a setback is important. Deep breath - it's time to make a new plan or tweak your existing plan.
- It's a bump in the road. People who recover from an upset and forge a new way forward are greatly admired and respected - and are highly employable! Life is full of bumps in the road that you will need to manage. Speak to some of the grown-ups in your life. You may be surprised to learn of the setbacks they experienced in the early days that they now regard as a hiccup or a blip!
- Don't panic. You are not the only person that this has happened to. You will create a new plan to follow. Listen to ideas and suggestions from others.
- If a friend has had disappointing results, it is understandable that you might want to play down your own achievements. That is a kind approach but this is a great achievement for you. So join with others later in the day (and invite your friend too) and take up offers from your family to mark the good news with them!
- Celebrate anyway. If your friends want you to go along to an exam celebration - just go. They are still your friends and you are part of the circle and they will feel for you. Besides, you are probably still be on course to go to Uni or start the next step of your life.
- It can help to go for a walk together or go out as a diversion. Take a break. Don't isolate yourself. Be with others.
- If you are the adult supporting a young person, it's OK to express disappointment that their hard work didn't get the results they hoped for. But this is not the time to lecture them about not being focused, not studying enough, etc. They probably already know this and it's not helpful.
- Be available to listen and talk with the young person as they work through their thinking and consider a different course
- Space to think. As the adult, try not to take over or impose your own views on what should happen next. They are a young adult in charge of their destiny so support, prompt, outline some options, and comment positively on the young person's proposals. Provide a non-judgemental space for them to explore their options
- Hugs and reassurance. As the adult, if you take this setback in your stride, the young person will feel able to as well. Depending on your relationship, give them lots of hugs, reassure, let them know it will be OK because it will be. Take them out for a treat or whatever you had planned for results day.
Let the young person know that you are there for them as they process their feelings. Keep things in perspective, support them to manage their mood and work on a revised plan.
You can find more information below: