Tell us about yourself?
My name is Christabelle. I was born in Dominica. I am a service user involved with People Participation and the North East London, Mental Health, Learning Disabilities and Autism Collaborative.

My story starts with not knowing who I was and where I belonged. I was brought up by my grandmother, grandfather and uncles and was always considered a ‘disobedient child’, because even from a young age I questioned everything and I needed to have answers about why things were done a certain way or why people did what they did. Being brought up in a culture where girls couldn’t do or achieve much, and should be seen more than they should be heard, this was a problem. 

At 9 years old, I was shipped off to England to live with my mother. Traditionally, boys get sent first but because I was such a ‘problem’ for my grandparents, I was sent first and my brother had to stay behind. A fond memory I have of this time was seeing snow for the first time. I recall the joy and freedom I felt as I played in the snow and genuinely feeling free and able to be a child. 

After running away at 14, I wanted to join the army and the Royal Signals because the army looked like a place that could give me belonging. But I didn’t want to hurt anyone and the Royal Signals seemed to be the place that would cause the least harm.

Eventually, I ended up working for British Telecom, because it was practical and technical work and that is what I always found joy in. But after being told I would only amount to admin and secretarial work, I taught myself how to fix, strip and put together computers and electronics, determined I’d be taken seriously and seen for my skills not for my sex. This paid off, as I ended up in an apprenticeship where I could hone my skills and develop my love for computers and electronics!

This led to a realisation and discovering a deep passion for learning which led me to become a driving instructor for a short while, leading to a developing love for teaching, mentoring and instructing. It realised a passion that I had had for a long time for ensuring that those who want to learn are given every opportunity to do so and receive the tutelage they deserve: ensuring young people are advocated for, kept safe and given the power of an education. Something that wasn’t offered to me. 

How did you get involved with People Participation and the collaborative?
I ended up teaching in a number of places, both domestic and internationally. I taught in Kuwait as an ICT/Computing teacher – and after coming back from Kuwait, I felt lost. My kids were grown up and my family were distant. My life felt upside down. I felt alone and without belonging or a purpose. I felt like a child again and this caused me to feel suicidal.

I ended up being paired with a wonderful counsellor who talked to me and treated me as a person and made me feel heard and seen. She asked me what I would like to do and didn’t tell me what I should do. She ended up getting me in touch with the older adult’s team in ELFT and eventually in People Participation. 

I felt angry though, that it took that long to be offered involvement and connection with People Participation (PP). I remember thinking, if this fantastic service had been introduced to me far earlier, things might be a little different now. I felt like I had been robbed of time and recovery, knowing that this service existed and it took as long as it did to be offered it. People Participation speaks to everything I care about: supporting people, learning, teaching, peer-to-peer support and belonging.

I got involved with the collaborative because it was future-focused and it looked hopeful. It was focused on improving things for everyone in the long term not just the here and now. I liked how the projects were aimed at paying things forward and the ‘behind-the-scenes’ working appealed to me. Especially Project Social and making sure service users are given a voice and a means to speak up and gain skills to amplify their own voices.

What advice would you give to someone starting or on their own journey of recovery?
If I had to give someone advice when starting their own journey, looking for purpose or belonging, I would start with a quote from Janet Jackson: “What have you done for me lately?” If you haven’t done so already, start asking that question to all those who are involved in your care. But not only what HAVE you done but what CAN you do. Open up that conversation and educate yourself on how systems work and get involved. 

I would also ask those involved in setting the priorities for care organisations by asking you to ask yourself that question - what have you done for service users lately? I would also say that everyone should remind themselves of their talents and their skills and loves. Labels are important, sure, but remember you are a whole person, not just labels. 

At the same time, when I was first involved with PP and looking for purpose and belonging, I had to remind myself that I was more than just my labels. I was an artist. I loved music and playing instruments. I loved to dance and to ride my motorcycle, and I loved to be charitable and generous. 

I had to remember that ‘Christabelle’ was my label and what caused my heart to cry was when I lost my label, my name. 

What advice would you give to your younger self?
A piece of advice I would give my younger self? Remember to love yourself and the whole you. Your parents may not have been strong enough but you are. Speak out, talk, seek help; don’t hide from help and try not to be afraid of asking for help and advice. 

Any words of wisdom for the NHS? 
If you want to help us service users; if you want us to be meaningfully involved, you’re going to have to be honest with us and tell us the whole story. Help us, help you, help us all.