They can also help us to cope with difficult feelings or circumstances…
“I feel like mine is sort of anxiety/depression expressing itself as an eating disorder”
“I feel my ‘eating disorder’ actions are my ways of coping with life”
“Another thing is that I do exercise and eat or don't eat, so that I feel ok (have a sufficiently full emotional tank) that I can do the day, be a support to others. [I feel I need to] get my head out of survival mode and think about other stuff than myself/how to manage food and exercise.”
“Staff members at the hospital believe that my eating disorder has a large part to do with being abandoned by my parents and family from a very young age.”
… or provide a sense of control
“I use food as something that I can control […] one theme for me with food is using food to torture myself.”
Our environment can impact on our relationship with food
“As I’m really motivated and tend to hyperfocus on things (e.g. work), I tend to skip meals. Then in stressful situations I tend to ‘overeat’.”
“If I weren’t so socially isolated, I probably wouldn’t be thinking about food all the time.”
Eating disorders can bring a sense of hopelessness
“[At times] I felt like, I don't want anything to change, I don't feel like there is any prospect of feeling better - I just need to do these things to cope the life.”
Eating disorders can interact with our individual personality traits…
“This is such a cliche, but sometimes you fit the cliche, right? So, I have always been a perfectionist and quite an all or nothing person. I know that’s a stereotype that’s often wrongly attributed in eating disorders, but for me it was certainly my experience that the perfectionism went through the rest of my life. And then it applied to my eating disorder in a way that fuelled if further.”
…sometimes, these personality traits can help us to recover…
“But then, also interestingly, that same perfectionism was what I used to recover the first time. It actually became a positive driving force the other way. So obviously, like these things are really complex and it's not always like perfectionism is bad, or that being ‘all or nothing’ is bad.”
…and being aware of how they work is an important part of staying well
“Another personality trait that has interacted with my eating disorder in the past has been innovation. The times when my eating disorder was most dangerous to me were when it would be as innovative and as imaginative as I feel like I am in other areas of life. So, it would rear its head in different disguises each time.”
“When I first had an eating disorder it was very much like one type of behaviour that was definitely disordered. But when it came back five years later, when I’d been recovered for ages, it was under a completely different disguise and behaviour. I didn’t connect it super quickly because I didn’t recognise it as a pattern that had happened before. Sometimes it would take my adventurous nature and use it to come back with a vengeance – but ultimately, I won out against it. And now I feel like I'm aware of the innovativeness of the eating disorder.”
A note from ELFT
At East London Foundation Trust, we have been working with Experts by Experience to design a new Community Disordered Eating Service that meets all kinds of needs. We understand that eating disorders and disordered eating don’t have a ‘look’ and often do not fit traditional stereotypes - our aim is to connect everyone with the support they need. If you are struggling with disordered eating and live in the boroughs of Newham, Tower Hamlets, or City & Hackney, you can ask your GP to refer you to our service. You can also refer yourself via our website at the Community Disordered Eating Team.
Referral Form >>
Further information about eating disorder support can be found on the Beat website >>
